


Poems of a Fangirl

by MaiadaughterofAtlas



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Friendship, Love Confessions, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2021-01-23 07:42:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21316609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaiadaughterofAtlas/pseuds/MaiadaughterofAtlas
Summary: I wrote this collection of poems over the summer of grade 9-11.  Most of them connect to previous ones although you can pick and choose if you want to read a particular one.  Many of them talk about the pain that comes with liking fandoms though it expanded into a book of poems that describe the world that many people live in.  This collection will delve into some darker themes, including **Self-Harm, Eating Disorders**. Remember to take care of yourself before reading and after you have read any parts.
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Female Character, Original Female Character/Original Male Character





	1. Fiction

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! *Wave*  
I'm Maiadaughter of Atlas and I've been working on this collection for ages! Poetry has been my voice for a few years now, and I have finally opened it up for you to read. I hope you enjoy, let me know what you think! Just so you know, I have also published this collection on Wattpad (under the same user!) This collection will delve into some darker themes, including **TRIGGER WARNING:  
Self-Harm, Eating Disorders**. 
> 
> Remember to take care of yourself before reading and after you have read any parts.

Sometimes, I disappear from reality.  
Sometimes, I fade away.  
Sometimes, I need to disappear.  
Sometimes, I need to not feel a thing.  
Sometimes, I disappear from reality.

I often need the worlds, different from our own yet exactly the same.  
Some characters have challenges that mirror my own while others have a message for all to learn.  
Sometimes, I'm just watching all unfold.

Other times, I'm the leader of the pack, one of the characters.  
And even more often, I'm the writer dictating what happens with a script.  
I say cut. Pause. Play. Rewind.  
Time passes differently.

I feel emotions far more complex than it's possible to feel in our world.  
I feel joy, love, and loathing.  
I feel sad, annoyed, and frustrated.  
I feel dead and re-born.  
I feel alive yet burned.  
I feel tired.  
Most importantly, I feel loved.  
I feel needed.  
I cannot get that in our world.

In our world, I feel alone.  
Sad. Angry. Dead.  
But, more often than not unable to feel a thing.  
So, I do what I have to.  
I dive. I search. I discover a new opportunity.

To live.

To laugh.

To be alive.

\- A Fangirl


	2. Minds of Others

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sequel to Chapter 1

Sometimes I live inside the minds of others.  
Sometimes, I venture where seldom have been before.  
Sometimes, I'm alone in the dark.  
Other times, I'm amongst a crowd in the sun.  
Sometimes, I'm the lead, the star.  
Other times, I'm a ghost not a hundred percent there.  
Either way, living in the mind's of others is safer.

It's easier to live this way.  
Alone but together.  
Alive but dead.  
Born and reborn.

With every new venture.  
With every new discovery.


	3. Sometimes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life of a fangirl or fanboy!

Sometimes, I want to dream.  
Sometimes, I want to be alone.  
Sometimes, I want nothing at all.

Sometimes, I don't want to feel a thing.  
Sometimes, I cry.  
Sometimes, I scream.  
Sometimes, I don't do anything at all.

I often disappear.  
I'm often gone.  
Gone from reality.  
Moving, around.

Missing a part of me.  
Missing a part of you.

I want to dream.  
I want to dream.  
I want to dream with you.  
I want to dream.

Dream of a place far away from here.  
Dream of a place where I can be alone.  
Dream of a place where I can be myself.

Myself  
And  
Only  
Myself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this when I was supposed to be concentrating on English class, whoops.


	4. Artistry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based off of a quote by Picasso. "Every child is an artist. The problem is to remain an artist once she grows up." Pablo Picasso

I used to be creative.  
I used to like to be.  
I used to dream up worlds both real and fictional.  
I used to want to.  
I used to be creative.

When I was little I could control my dreams both when I was asleep and awake.  
I used to be able to control a world of vibrating colours.  
I used to be able to save the day.

Then came the time of reading.  
I read everything, and my world changed.  
From my own to the authors.  
To the narrators.  
To the main characters.  
To the world of witchcraft, the Capitol, Camp Half-Blood, the hunger games, to Sunnydale, to the road unknown filled with demons to fight.

I once wandered across a beach, in another world.  
I wandered for a long time.  
People screamed after me.  
"Come back."  
I never heard.

From then on, I became careful.  
I didn't want to be trapped in the world of my mind.  
I let myself be scared of that.  
I let myself be in the present.  
I let myself dream of an unknown future where any of these worlds may exist.

I let it be a dream.  
For when I have time.  
Time to dream.

I ran out of time as I grew into a teenager.  
But, I never ran out of dreams.  
I never ran out.

They were just sitting there in my mind.

Waiting for the time.

The time to dream.


	5. Singing tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remembering a night of songs & love

The sound of them singing gives me hope  
For a better future  
One where  
There's no fear  
No fear from inside me  
No fear coming from around me  
I won't cry

His voice brings me closer  
To the future  
To myself   
To my friends  
To the life, I want to have   
To the life, I deserve to have  
I stand by me

I need to expand my knowledge  
I need to be swept up  
Before summer ends  
7 years   
Of friendship  
Of heartache  
Of love  
Of loss  
Of forgiveness  
Of hands touching  
Of dreams

Remember me  
When you're older  
When you're the one Alive  
When you're the innocent one


	6. Thank you, S

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rescuers are overrated anyways

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the shortest poem I've ever written (that isn't a haiku). Brevity is Soulful, I guess?

I want to save myself

I don't need a rescuer

A person to reassure me

-_I am the one drowning yet the rescuer all the same_


End file.
